2. Village Idiot Moment
Definition – Those times when you’re consuming a beverage when suddenly, someone says something funny and makes you spray the drink all over everywhere, nasally or otherwise.
The Story – This one also involves my family, but it’s a much more straightforward tale and term. On one family trip to a cousin’s wedding a number of years ago, we stopped at a local store to grab a drink for my sister, and to pick up a few sundry items for the trip. Before we drove off, both my parents wanted to fix my sister’s outfit before we arrived at the wedding. She was sitting in the back, drinking some juice, as my parents were futzing and fiddling with her dress. All of a sudden, some random young and quite inebriated fellow was walking through the parking lot, and rambling incoherently. To his subsequent dismay, my dad uttered five words that are now infamousin my family – “Look, it’s the village idiot!”
That was it. Suddenly, my mom and dad were sprayed with a dizzying fountain of juice from my sister’s mouth. She had burst out laughing mid-gulp, and my parents bore the brunt of geyser. There was much use of paper towels, and frequent admonitions, that persist to this day, never to say something funny while someone is drinking every again.
From that fateful spritzing, the “Village Idiot Moment” was born. This term applies not only to the “I laughed so hard milk came out my nose” situation, but also to any situation where you’re in the middle of drinking, somebody says something funny, and the rest of the drink doesn’t quite make it. It’s simple, straightforward, but imminently useful for all those times when your well-meaning chuckle turns into a “say it, don’t spray it” situation.