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Twilight: The Novel – The Andrew Review

Once upon a time, there was a wonderful show called Mystery Science Theater 3000. It taught us all a very important lesson – that even the most hackneyed, poorly made, and all around worst “works of art” can be made entertaining and enjoyable if you simply poke fun at them as you go along. It was in this spirit that I read Stephenie Meyer’s ode to fangirl fantasies, whiny vampires, and the act of spitting on Bram Stoker’s grave, better known as “Twilight.”

I embarked on this treacherous journey at the urging of my girlfriend, who is herself an ardent detractor of the novel and its writing style. She received my sardonic running commentary as I slogged through page after page of this ripe-for-ridicule tale, and she has been my shepherd through this strange land of plot holes and tween-lit. When she encouraged me to do a full review, how could I refuse? She was also kind enough to provide me with a few NPR reviews of the book for guidance, and she even made the lovely pictures you see accompanying the review. Without further ado, here are my thoughts on that most celebrated of novels – Twilight.


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